Do We Blame Porn Too Much?

When something goes wrong in the world, people tend to blame porn. People have too much sex? Porn. People not having enough sex? Porn. People having trouble keeping it up? You guessed it… porn. We blame porn for a lot of things, but it seems like porn is becoming a bit of a scapegoat for problems in the bedroom.

home computing adult content

So… do we blame porn too much? Is porn being unjustly blamed for all of our sexual problems? Here on the Escort Sweden blog we take a look at the different things that porn is being blamed for… and why we might be being a touch unfair.

Porn causes marital breakdowns!

The latest thing that porn is being blamed for is that it causes marital breakdowns. Well, we say the latest. Porn has been blamed for couples getting divorced for years. Most of the time it is said to be that the man watches too much of it and the woman simply cannot compete. They then suggest that the man has a porn addiction, making him out to be a sick and twisted individual, rather than someone who needs help with their addiction.

New research has come out to suggest that there is “a striking correlation between watching porn and divorce”. The study was called “Till Porn Do Us Part?”, which pretty much tells us all that we need to know about the research.

Kim Kardashian breaking down and saying that she doesn't want to be married anymore
Original source: Giphy

However, this study did something unusual… it also looked at the wives watching porn. They found that the wives were getting hit harder by divorce, as the chance of them getting a divorce had nearly tripled between the different surveys they conducted throughout the years, with the states going “from 6% to 16%”.

To summarise, they suggested that the reason for the increase in divorce could be because of stumbling onto your partner’s porn collection “unexpectedly”, as it “could rock an otherwise happy marriage to the point of divorce”. However, most married couples I know are aware of the fact that their partner probably watches porn… so unless it is illegal or extreme, we’re still not convinced that it would drive people to divorce.

Sex has become boring

We can let our sex lives get stale sometimes. This can be because of a number of different things. We might simply get too busy with work and so not have as much of it, meaning that when we do, it goes far too quickly. It could also be because we have fallen into a routine in the bedroom and do the same things over and over again.

Alec Baldwin saying that he is bored now
Original source: Giphy

Should we blame porn for this? I don’t think so. Porn gives you the chance to explore new things. You get lots of kinky ideas from porn, so it can actually be hugely beneficial to watch it with your partner if you have that kind of relationship.

Erectile dysfunction? Blame porn

Sometimes, people have problems keeping it up. This could be for a huge variety of reasons. Stress, illness, medication, and performance anxiety can all bring it on. While many like to think that it will never happen to them because they work out at the gym regularly and look after themselves, it can happen.

However, this is yet another think that porn is being blamed for. People seem to believe that watching porn means that you are going to get erectile dysfunction… especially if you watch too much of it.

A man checks his cock to see that he is still struggling to get it up
Original source: Reaction Gifs

People like to blame porn for erectile dysfunction because then it is the fault of something immoral and taboo. Everyone feels stressed every now and then, but that can’t possibly be to blame, so instead we will blame porn for our problems keeping it up.

Yet again, we are being unfair on porn, which is something that Archie Bland of The Guardian pointed out in his article ‘Don’t blame porn for erectile dysfunction. The truth is complex’. Here’s a little snippet to give you an idea of the problem that people see everywhere:

“You can tell the story in a way that sounds plausible. A teenage boy has been furiously masturbating over videos of semi-synthetic bodies in hairless collision for years. For the first time, he is faced with the real, slightly wobbly form of someone his own age. This person doesn’t conform to his expectations. He freaks out. He can’t get it up.”

Bland then goes on to explain that the furious masturbation is actually just part of being a teenage boy, but people tend to worry too much about the first point to think about the rest. They seem to believe that porn must be to blame because, as Angela Gregory, an NHS psychosexual therapist tells us, “these younger men do not have organic disease, they’ve already been tested by their GP and everything is fine”.

So of course we blame porn. People tend to forget that there are so many other reasons for erectile dysfunction. Yes, porn might be to blame in some cases, but definitely not in all!

We aren’t having enough sex!

A recent study showed that people, young people in particular, aren’t having enough sex. In fact, there has been a huge drop in the amount of young people having sex, which for many is a cause for concern. Surely they can’t blame porn for this, can they?

Why yes, yes they can! The theory is that people are spending so much time watching porn that they don’t want the real thing. They would rather jerk off to the sexy ladies on the screen than actually have a physical relationship with someone else.

A man saying that he once went for 28 years without having sex
Original source: Photobucket

It was speculated that people are “spending more time online, rather than interacting directly with others”. This, of course, meant that it was only a number of time before porn was blamed.

Of course, there are plenty of other possible reasons for this trend. Things like concern about sexual abuse, more people saving themselves for marriage, and even higher numbers of young people living with their parents. Getting it on with your parents in the house is hardly a sexy thought, is it?

We want too much sex!

On the other hand, porn is also being blamed because it makes us want too much sex. It apparently sends our hormones raging and so we want to fuck all of the time. We are constantly told that men think about sex every six seconds, which we know isn’t true. When they are turned on and horny, maybe, but when they are in the middle of a stressful day at work? Probably not.

Because the people on the screen have so much sex, and because there are so many videos online, watching porn must make us want more sex, right?

A man telling you to stay horny
Original source: Hex Jam

Not necessarily. Sure, watching porn makes us horny, but it is an act we usually do alone. We have a little solo fun with Palmela Handerson and her five friends before we move on to other things. Porn simply gives us something to fantasise about. If we do choose to sit down and watch it with our partner, it will give us kinky ideas. Things that we want to try out. And the chances are that, if we have sat down with our partner to watch porn, we are going to have sex with them.

Really, people already want more sex than they get. It just happens to be that people watch porn when they can’t get it. That doesn’t mean that porn is to blame.

Unrealistic expectations of sex

How many times have you heard people putting the blame on porn for the unrealistic expectations of sex? We can see that Bland touched on this in the quote above, but it is true. People seem to believe that watching porn suddenly gives you unrealistic expectations of sex… and your potential partners in particular.

Porn stars tend to be clean shaven. They have toned bodies, big boobs, and lots of make-up on their face. We can understand why. The lights on porn sets are bright, and so the team behind the camera want the stars to look at hot as they can.

An animation talking about high expectations
Original source: Tumblr

For some people, they feel that they can blame porn for their unrealistic expectations. However, really we should be looking at ourselves. The things that we see in porn are a fantasy. They are not true to life.

Most people know this, but some people struggle to make the distinction between porn and sex. What you see in the porno, unless you are watching amateur porn, isn’t realistic to life. Men don’t last as long and women don’t have an orgasm the instant a cock slips inside of them.

What else do we blame porn for?

People blame porn for a huge number of things. While sometimes porn can be a factor in these areas of life, a lot of the time it is porn in combination with something else. Because people do not like the idea of porn, of people being paid to have sex on camera, so they like to blame porn for everything.

The dog scapegoat
Original source: Giphy

Porn is basically the dog in the house. If someone has eaten something that was left out on the kitchen counter, we blame the dog. If someone cuts the cheese, we blame the dog. Porn is, unfortunately, the dog in this situation. What other things have you heard people blaming porn for? Do you think it is fair, or are we being harsh on the adult entertainment? Let us know by leaving a comment in the box below.

Lara Mills
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Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
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