You would think that sending sexy texts messages to each other would be easy, but there are plenty of mistakes that you can make to turn what should be a saucy message into something that makes your partner turn off their phone completely. Sexting is a minefield, and you need to know the right and wrong things to type before you start trying it for yourself.
If you have ever found yourself staring at your phone and wondering what to say when you’ve had a message saying “what dirty things would you do to me?” then read on, as we tell you some of the best and worst things that you can say when sexting.
Keep it short and sweet
My girlfriends and I got together for some drinks this weekend and, after a few cocktails, one passed her phone over, asking what she was supposed to do about a sext she got. She said that she didn’t know how to respond and wanted some tips, so we dutifully read.
It took me a total of five minutes to read the message out loud to the rest of the group. That isn’t an exaggeration. It was a huge message that pretty much detailed everything from the very beginning of foreplay to the money shot right at the end, and the message perfectly displayed one of the problems with sending sexts – the length.
One of the biggest mistakes that people make with sexting is the length. They will either make it too long, so that the person reading it feels as though it is an erotic story and that they aren’t getting the chance to respond to it, or they’ll make it so short that they have nothing to actually reply to.
You need to try and find the perfect balance. If they ask what you would do to them if you were there, do just that. Stick to the prompt they have given you. Say something like “I would kiss you passionately before trailing my lips to your neck and putting my hands on your firm ass. I might gently tug on your blouse and ask what you want me to do next”, as this not only gives them an idea of what you would be doing with your lips and hands, but it also gives them the chance to respond. You don’t need to write paragraphs with sexting, as a few brief sentences can be enough.
Do it in order
The message from this weekend was the perfect example of a terrible sext message. Yes, it had plenty of detail in it, but there were some vital mistakes it made. The fact that it was too long wasn’t the only thing against it, as the guy went about describing what was happening in completely the wrong way, by jumping straight in to licking pussy and then describing how he would slowly undress her after that.
Logic really does need to play a big part in your sexting, which can be difficult when you have a hard on and one hand gently pumping it as you attempt to type with the other hand. However, if you say things in the wrong order it can ruin the mood.
Start at the beginning and slowly work your way through the different things that you want to do. Describe exactly how you would get them in the mood and tease them, saying things like “I would slowly kiss and lick my way down your body” or “my hands would slowly run up your legs, stopping close to your pussy and moving away again to drive you wild”.
When things start to get a little more intense you might find yourself struggling to think of what to say. Simply thing back to the last time you saw them and the sexy things you did. If you bent them over and slowly slid down their panties to take them from behind, describe that. The memory will be fresh in their mind and they will remember how intense it was, making sexting even better.
Describe things that you can, and would, actually do
If you have never given your partner multiple orgasms, don’t start describing how you’d plunge your cock into their pussy as they came again and again for you, screaming the entire time. It’s a good rule of thumb when sexting to stick to the things that you can and would do, otherwise it is just making empty promises.
You might be particularly skilled at oral sex, so tell them in detail what you would do with your tongue. Say that you would gently lick at their clit one before running your tongue around it, teasing them and waiting for them to beg you for more. Describe the moment that you keep your tongue there, running it back and forth across it to get them close to orgasm.
The same goes for positions. You might like the idea of picking them up and sitting them on your erect cock as you stand up, but if you cannot physically hold them there and it is something you have never done before, they are going to have a hard time picturing it. Instead choose something that you know they love, such as you bending them over and taking them from behind. Go into detail about where your hands are as you thrust into them in doggy style position and they will love it.
If you want to be good at sexting, there are some simple tips to follow. Keep the messages short and sweet (a couple of sentences) with something for them to respond to, and describe the things that you would actually do to them. Remember to tease them as you would during foreplay and you will have some of the hottest sexts in return that you have ever had in your life! Try it now and tell us all about the results you get in the box below or on the Escort Sweden forum.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.