It has always been said that during sex, if you say the wrong name in bed, then that is really, really bad. The consensus has always been that if it happens, it is because someone is thinking about another person, rather than the one they are shagging.
You shouldn’t be too surprised that if you do it, you get a very negative response. However, it seems that those who are at the wrong end of being given an incorrect name should take it as a compliment.
Natural Brain Reaction
This is according to Dr Jim Pfaus. Speaking to the Independent, Dr Pfaus explained how it’s all perfectly natural and is simply what the brain does.
“When you’re in a state of euphoria, you conjure up things that remind you of other things, because you’re in a state that has happened before.”
He continues, “Let’s assume the person had a very special former lover who made him or her feel a certain thrill. Those sexual thrills, quality of orgasms, and feelings of closeness were associated with that person and his or her name.”
Put simply, it means that the only reason they are getting your name wrong is because it is reminding them of a fantastic experience they have previously had. So, instead of getting pissed off, you should feel proud.
Still, we live in the real world, and we realise if someone calls you the wrong name whilst they have sex with you, it is difficult to stay positive. So how should you deal with it if it happens to you?
The one thing Dr Pfaus does counsel is,whether it’s you who let slip or your partner; don’t ignore it.
“Stop what you’re doing and talk about it, try to figure out a way to give it a happy ending.”
Communication is the Key
I think what he means here is discuss what has happened. Instead of going feral, give the other person a chance to explain themselves. Maybe let them know that you don’t hold it against them. This will help everyone get back into the swing of it, and enjoy the sexual encounter.
This all sounds very good in principle. However, it will take a long time for his advice to become common practice I think. The natural response when something like this happens is to blow your stack.
However, all good relationships are built on communication. If something goes wrong, you should talk about it. If not, there is a very good chance the relationship will die.
So, heed the words of Dr Pfaus. He may well save you marriage, or your relationship. And even more importantly, he may stop you getting your balls cut off.
If he stops that, then reading this article was rather useful!
Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.
When he isn't fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.
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