Boring Sex: How To Spice Things Up Without BDSM

If you say to someone that you are getting a little fed up of your boring sex life, they might suggest you try something new. However, most of these suggestions fall firmly into the world of BDSM. BDSM isn’t for everyone. In fact, there are plenty of people out there who prefer to have vanilla sex instead.

Young handsome man kissing his pretty slim woman's body

So what can you do to spice up your sex life without pulling out the whips and chains? Is there a way to make your boring sex life more exciting again, or is BDSM the other thing you can do to inject some fun into it?

No, it isn’t. But you may have to open your mind up to new things. You’ll need to step out of your comfort zone and we have some suggestions to help you get out of your sex rut.

Make a sex plan

This might sound like the complete opposite of what you want. After all, making a sex schedule seems like a boring thing to do. In an ideal world all sex would be spontaneous. The problem is that many of us have busy lives and so finding the time for spontaneous sex is tough. This is why we end up with boring sex – because we just don’t have the energy!

So setting a sex schedule might not be such a bad idea. It means that you and your partner definitely know when you are going to fuck, and you’ll find that you both get excited in the build up to that time.

The anticipation is part of the foreplay, so when you do finally get to the time of sex you’ll want to rip clothes off and jump straight into bed. It will be amazing and give you plenty of time to come up with something new to try! You definitely won’t regret it, so try setting a sex schedule at least once.

Setting a sex schedule can really help to spice up your sex life. No, really, it can!
Original source: The Daily Touch

Share your fantasies

The chances are you have a fantasy you have yet to share with your partner. You might be a little scared about how they react to your ideas, or perhaps you feel that you don’t know enough about the subject to fully explore it.

There’s only one way to find out, and that is by talking to your partner about your fantasy. They could turn around and say that they hate the idea and never want to try it. However, they could also be really keen to try it. You’ll never know if you don’t try, so give it a shot!

If they do want to give it a go you can do some research together. You can work together to create the ultimate fantasy experience for you. It may even encourage them to open up about their deepest fantasy so you have more things you can explore in the future.

Sharing fantasies is a lot of fun, even if your partner doesn't want to try it
Original source: Giphy

Sexting as foreplay

If you are looking for a fun way to make foreplay more exciting, you could try sexting. Sexting is a great way to spice up boring sex and suggest things you want to try to your partner at the same time!

When you receive a sext you have a little time to think about your response. It is like dirty talk but without the pressure to get it right straight away. You can think over your response before you send it to make sure it is perfect.

Plus this is great foreplay. While at work you can send them a message saying that you’ve been thinking about the last time you two were together. You might even suggest some things you might do differently. In no time at all you’ll find that you are sexting!

If you start sexting when on your way to meet your partner you could describe what you are going to do to them when you see them. This will get them as turned on as foreplay could, so you can get straight down to business.

Sexting is easy when you know how. You just have to give it a go!
Original source: Tumblr

Skip intercourse

You might think that you have read the title to this section wrong. Nope. You haven’t. We really are suggesting that you skip intercourse. “But isn’t that the point of sex?” you might be asking. If you are, this is why you need to skip it.

Far too often we get a little too fixated on actually having sex. We’ll imagine fucking and get so caught up in the idea that we might skip foreplay altogether… or we simply don’t spend enough time on it.

Instead, ban yourself from intercourse next time you have sex. Stick to everything but, which means you can enjoy foreplay and even oral sex. You’ll find that it leads to intense orgasms and makes sex a little more exciting for you both as you aren’t stuck on the end result.

Sex without foreplay can be boring, so why not try foreplay without sex to spice things up?
Original source: Primo Gif

The end of boring sex?

We’re all guilty of letting sex get a little boring. We don’t mean to do it, but we’ll fall into a routine. When we have boring sex it can make our desire for sex decrease. We want to have amazing and mind-blowing sex, not the kind of sex where we can guess what happens before it actually happens.

This issue is that for many, BDSM is the solution. Those who like vanilla feel as though there is little they can do in the bedroom without delving into the world of domination, submission, and kink. Thankfully, there are a few ideas we have shared with you above.

Got a few suggestions of your own you’d like to share? You can do so by leaving a comment in the box below. Let us know how you make vanilla sex exciting again when it has turned a little stale!

Lara Mills
Follow me

Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
Follow me

Latest posts by Lara Mills (see all)

Please log in here to leave a comment.